Heritage Committee Rides A Jackass Into Market Square

Once upon a time during the autumnal days of the First Year of the Gerretsen Gambit in the Limestone City, it came to pass that the Committee to Protect Domes, Cupolas and Ancient Æsthetics of the Kingdom was presented with a conundrum of obscenely brutal proportions involving a long standing vacant concrete bunker adjacent to Historic Market Square. A restaurant conglomerate is proposing a redevelopment of this prime commercial property that is located at the corner of King Street and Brock Street into a branded franchise eatery called Jack Astor’s Restaurant.

The problem facing the burghers of the Committee to Protect Domes, Cupolas and Ancient Æsthetics of the Kingdom is not whether the Limestone City can sustain yet another franchised restaurant that offers the same over priced American style entrees created in a food processing plant two hours away and then transported by a food logistics company directly to a downtown kitchen and served to hungry walking wallets by attractive minimum wage slaves. No, the problem facing the burghers of the Committee to Protect Domes, Cupolas and Ancient Æsthetics of the Kingdom is the dark colour of the brick that is being proposed to clad the concrete bunker. The Committee’s reasoning is the dark colour of the brick will overpower the surrounding architecture by standing out like a jackass in a stable of thoroughbreds. The Committee to Protect Domes, Cupolas and Ancient Æsthetics of the Kingdom has also banned the use of the franchise’s neon branded logo of a jackass for similar reasons, stating “There is no corporate branding around Market Square and the introduction of corporate branding would be an obscene violation of Market Square.”

O, dear reader, we will not insult your intelligence as the Committee to Protect Domes, Cupolas and Ancient Æsthetics of the Kingdom has so blatantly done. We will simply remind you that naming rights for Market Square were sold, in perpetuity, to a corporate brand during the Rosen Mandate and his Posse of Georges reign, for a million dollars. The irony of this matter is not lost on us as the owner of the building in question is also the corporate brand that owns the name of the people’s Market Square.

Kingston: Where parochial dramatic comedy is a way of life.