126 Seconds of Transportation Bliss

Once upon a time during the summer dog days of the First Year of the Gerretsen Gambit in the Limestone City, it came to pass that the LaSalle Causeway traffic woes were once again being addressed by Consultants, Bureaucrats and Democratically Elected Servants of The People. The Consultants were consulted to address the twice daily traffic jam created by personal transportation devices approaching the lift bridge formerly known as the Penny Bridge.

The Consultants, who are paid many municipal tax dollars to say what the Bureaucrats and Democratically Elected Servants of The People can not or would not say, declared that the twice daily traffic woes are a result of the East and West approaches to the Causeway and not the Causeway itself. The Consultants calculated that for $1,200,000.00 spread over ten years of road alterations on both sides of the LaSalle Causeway, an estimated 2.1 minutes of daily travel time across the Great Cataraqui River could be reduced, thus enhancing some Limestone City citizens’ Daily Quality Of Life by 126 seconds.

A great fanfare erupted and the Bureaucrats and Democratically Elected Servants Of The People who sit on the Environment, Infrastructure and Transportation Policies Committee shouted out with glee! So happy with their decision, the Committee also approved a proposal to increase the Kingdom’s public transportation fleet of fossil fuel powered, people moving vehicles from 48 to 63. The proposal will include 15 minute express routes which Kingdom Bureaucrats are guessing will increase ridership to 600,000 fares per year, filling municipal coffers with $7,500,000 versus an annual operating cost of $22,000,000.

This public transportation scheme will not enhance Limestone City citizens’ Daily Quality Of Life by decreasing commute times by 126 seconds or more – as a matter of fact it will increase commute times for most users - but knowing the socialist nature of public transportation and the mind set of conservative, parochial citizens, this investment in the future of our Kingdom will be a municipal loss leader for quite a few years until citizens realize fossil fueled personal transportation devices are unsustainable and not their birthright.

It should be pointed out that these plans to accommodate unsustainable transportation practices are in addition to the 11^th Wonder of the Limestone City, a proposed multi-million dollar bridge over the Cataraqui River known as the 3^rd River Crossing, which would actually be the 4^th River Crossing within the Kingdom, but who’s counting?

$571,428 per reduced minute of daily travel time is all about convenience for a few paid for by the many. We know it is not right, but it is how business is done at Kingston City Hall.